Between school, family, jobs, friends, mental breakdowns are inevitable. It's like all of this stress builds until you have a panic attack, similar to the story of the "Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins, when the woman went insane at the end of the story. My issue specifically this semester was I fell behind my school work and motivation at the beginning of the semester. It is almost as of my growth mindset changed to a fixed mindset. I was hopeless and lost with all of my school work and my priorities were not straight. It was unlike me, I was upset with myself because I worked so hard last year, this year did not reflect who I was as a college student. I needed a reality check. I couldn't find myself hitting a pivotal moment where my ways changed. Once midterm conference week hit I knew I was screwed. I did not have my work done that i needed for it to be done, I was not prepared. My professor talked about my work in a nice manner, but I knew I deserved to get the brunt of this conference and be at fault for my actions in my work. He asked me what was going on, and I broke down crying. It was my final mental breakdown, that pivotal moment I needed. I cried saying how I'm so behind in all of my classes and that I just needed to pull my shit together, but I just couldn't. My professor looked at me and reminded me who I am as a student, he said he firmly believes I can bounce back from this and that I will be able to pull myself together. It was like someone believed in me, when i didn't believe in myself. It was reassuring. After that conference I went home and I worked all day and night. That week I found myself being at the library every single night of the week for consecutive hours, pushing myself like I never have before. It felt amazing. I was proud of the work I produced in those hours for all of my classes, and I turned myself around. A part of me does have a lot of regret, if I had that motivated mindset from the start, my grades would be how I wished they were. Since I fell behind from the start, I can only be satisfied with what I have worked for. I'm happy and thankful I turned myself around or else I would've been wasting my money on classes I did not pass. It is a relieving feeling knowing you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. I have learned a lot from this experience and my motivation from it will drive me to get better grades next semester. All around, be a better student. These mindsets will control your brain and body, it's your choose whether to have a fixed or growth mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, know that you are not alone and can break out of this "always failing" phase, you can achieve and grow as a student and person with your growth mindset as long as you put all your effort in.
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